Thursday, July 1, 2010

resistance to moving forward with healing from cataracts

did this with Ingrid Dinter's teleconferencr recording on resistance to healing

Everything that resonated:
people won't help me if I am well
Why do I believe I need help? Is it because I feel helpless and powerless? Some part of me wants to say yes, I feel that way.

phenomenal feeling of betrayal in life
fear of it not working
fear of failure if it does not work
what if something happens again that I don't want to see?
I want to grow stronger, to face and confront the problems in life, to overcome and grow spiritually;

Goal:
When my cataract disappears and my glasses are gone, I will feel phenomenal and so full of gratitude!
I will be so excited and happy that I can see! I will want to see everything again!
My family will be astonished and incredulous initially; they will then feel inspired to try to do this for themselves and I will help them.
It will feel incredible and joyful when I succeed!

EFT:
after doing the eft for this resistance:
hard to say what I feel........I directly addressed the resistance and I felt a sharp pain in the top of my head.

After tapping with Anne:
I felt better, also agreed with Anne that I felt a connection with who I want to be.
I love the answer you gave her: that she is already connected with the universe and who she wants to be.

2nd tapping experience was too difficult to understand because everyone was repeating at different paces. I decided to listen to it again and to write down what I hear and try it again:


there are things we cannot change and another thing is how we feel about that

Even though I am afraid of the things I cannot change
the reality is there are always things I cannot change
but I am not afraid of all of them
I'm just afraid of some of them
I choose to feel surprisingly powerful!
I choose to feel in control
and even though there are things I cannot change
because what I have not created
I might not be able to fix
some things may be broken without me breaking them!
Dammit!
I think I should break more of my things!
Then I would be in control of fixing them!
I allow myself to be surprisingly calm and content.
And even though part of me
refuses to be a victim of things that I cannot change
I choose to acknowledge this part of me:
Honor and respect.
I am not a victim!
But it doesn't mean that life doesn't happen.
But sometimes things have come to an end to give room to new things.

even new things
until the old things are gone.

what if everything was designed in perfect order?
even though I don't have it my way?
I have the perfect solution for all the problems out there!
People just have to stop messing up!
They just have to stop doing what they are doing and do the right thing instead!
If I had it my way, we wouldn't have this.
and probably there is probably a lot of ???? (couldn't understand this) to that
and that is what hurts so much: that I don't have the ability to
make a difference here.

what if I had the ability to make a difference?
but I refuse to use it?
what if I had the ability?
and I could connect with what I think things should be like?
and instead of connecting with anger and resentment
every time I think of the things I can't change
I will think of the most positive outcome
that feels truly doable, appropriate and right for me

what if that is exactly what the next step should be?
what if I could feel what the next step will be?
what if I was constantly connected with the perfect solution?
without reliving this need to blame others for the situation as it is?
I know it is ?????? (can't hear this part) but things don't have to be the way they are
I can connect with the perfect blueprints.
I can allow myself to see the potential of the situation
and release my need to be angry at others
I am grateful for my life
it is a good life!
I don't have to have all the solutions yet!
The solutions will come as life unfolds.
I choose to be curious about what solutions we will find.
I love those who are helping me and others.

I am connecting with those who are helping me and others.
and I send them my love and appreciation

and even though I don't know yet
if the changes are going to be good
I choose to settle for nothing but good changes!
and even though I don't know yet how to do all this
that's okay, the universe is going to find a way!
but I know I am going to love who I am going to be.

and I release my need to change what I can't change.

I forgive myself for the situations I can't change
I allow myself to tune in to the new potential now
I am grateful for my life and the possibilities.
(take a deep breath)


(end of script)

I did this alone and it made me feel hopeful, grateful and more in control. I truly appreciate that!

Although I felt powerless before about things I could not change, I felt helpless before and this helps me see that there are things I cannot control and that I am wasting my energy trying to do that......

More EFT script:

even though I believe I have to be the manager of the universe
and everything is my fault!
and I am in charge of the world!
and I have to be in everybody's head!
and I have to understand all their reasons and motivations
I just can't let it be
what a scary thought!
I allow myself to relax
and even though I believe I have to be the master of the universe
I connect with the part of me
cuz if I truly wanted to
I COULD be the Master of the Universe!
just like everybody else
we are all the masters of the universe
I might as well enjoy myself
and I deeply and completely accept my power.
even though I am so freakin' afraid of my own self
I am truly powerful beyond the imagination.
What if I truly have everything it takes?
and then I just becomel ike everybody else?
or what if they judge me
and they don't like me anymore?
now I am powerful
and they don't know me like that
that would be a good problem to have
and I will let them deal with the consequences
after all I know that I don't abuse my power
I create with that
Even though I have a fear of my power
and a fear of the changes
I will have to make
once I step into my power
those better be good changes!
Because I will have the power to create them
to only make good choices
to only create wonderful things
i can't wait to get started
I am going to find out what todo with my power
I might even reach my goals
I might even exceed my goals
I can't wait to do that!
That pink bathing suit was not my size!
I can do better than that!
I have been waiting to attract the most amazing man and I have to get confident!
I can't wait to get published!

I can't wait to be the peace and center of calmness in the middle of the mess around me
a role model that people can turn to
at least I can be my own role model
It doesn't have to be easy to be successful
it just has to be successful
and I deeply and completely accept my power
(breathe)


How do I feel? More in control, more power in me.

(close eyes and connect with what I want to be, meeting my goal, see my victory while walking around and smiling; emphasis on creating and not reacting)

Suggestion for next time: mute all voices when you are speaking a script.


No comments:

Post a Comment